Tuned into the new season of American Idol? Neither are we! It seems, though, we’ve been missing out on some very LOL-worthy moments, courtesy of new judge Steven Tyler. At the start of last night’s show, producers of the talent series ran an apology for Tyler’s “outrageous behavior” on a previous broadcast. The Aerosmith rocker [...]
Posts Tagged ‘behavior’
“American Idol†Apologizes For Steven Tyler’s “Outrageous†Behavior
Businesses Engaging in Risky Technology Behavior: Survey
A survey finds a slew of risky IT practices among cost-conscious businesses, including WiFi piggybacking. – Resource-and-cash-strapped small businesses struggling to cut costs
in a slow economy are leaving simple cost-savings options on the table
and putting data at risk, according to a recent survey from Lenovo. The
Lenovo-AMD Small Business Tech Survey, which sought to identify common
issues and tre…
Parliament body debates “MP behavior”
The Serbian parliament speaker has called a session of the Collegium in order to discuss offensive debates in which MPs have recently been engaging. Specifically, this parliamentary body looked at this week’s exchange between some members of parliament and Economy Minister MlaÄ‘an Dinkić, and decided to ban SNS leader Tomislav Nikolić from taking part in discussions until the end of the current session of parliament.
Do You React Consciously and Responsibly?

Carnage in the Toy Store
This morning I went to a local shopping centre (mall) to buy a birthday present for my two year-old pseudo-niece (my business partner’s daughter. Happy Birthday little Jessie!) It proved to be quite the eye-opening experience for the childless (and somewhat clueless) alpha-male. While the shopping part of the trip turned out to be something of an enjoyable adventure for Yours Truly (who knew toy stores could be such fun?), the same couldn’t be said for the six (or so) year-old who was test driving trucks in the next aisle. As the excited young truck driver lifted the object of his desire above his head to show the Chief Financial Officer what he needed for his next birthday, his chubby little fingers somehow lost their grip and the rather-costly toy (over a hundred bucks) came crashing down on to the concrete floor, transforming it instantly into a jigsaw puzzle. Which, of course, is a euphemism for… an expensive pile of crap.
For a nanosecond there was silence.
I knew it wouldn’t last. I looked at the little boy. I saw terror. I looked at the mother. I saw wild rage. I felt a bit nervous for the little fella. I think I had some kind of deja vu moment. Sympathy pains. Or something.
For a moment I thought she might actually kill him with what remained of the truck. Simultaneously it started: his crying and her screaming. For what seemed like an eternity, the mother bellowed at the distraught child. Oblivious to her own disgraceful behaviour, the out-of-control woman ranted and raved like a lunatic.
If not for the ever-growing audience, I am sure she would have hit the boy. Leaving the broken toy on the floor, the woman dragged the screaming child out of the store and left us spectators stunned. I said something to the shop assistant who informed me that such scenes are a regular occurrence in the store.
Life: A Never-Ending Series of Reactions
In many ways, our lives are a series of reactions. It’s unavoidable. And while we do our best to create our own destiny and to live proactive and productive lives, the reality is that we all live in a dynamic and unpredictable world. Reacting is a fundamental and necessary part of the human experience. It’s a required skill. It’s what we do hundreds of times a day. Consciously or not. Positively or negatively.
We hear the weather forecast, we react. The guy in the Mazda hits his brakes, we react. Our partner says something, we react. Our child spills milk, we react. The boss walks in, we react. We hear good or bad news, we react. One way or the other. Somebody lets us down, we react. The lights change, we react. Somebody gives us feedback, we react. A song comes on the radio, we react. An opportunity presents itself, we react. We’re confronted with a challenge, we react.
Today you will react hundreds of times and many of those reactions will happen on auto-pilot. Some reactions will be incidental and for the most part, meaningless (scratching an itch, stepping over a puddle, swaying to some music). Some will impact on others (reacting to the woman who cuts you off in the car park). Some will affect your personal relationships (an argument with a friend). Some will be life-impacting (dealing with a tragedy). Some will create positive outcomes. Some negative. One reaction could even involve a child who has accidentally broken a toy.
In reacting the way she did in the toy store, the mother created numerous (undesirable and unnecessary) outcomes. She:
- Terrified a child that (I assume) she loves.
- Humiliated him (by dragging him through the store by his shirt).
- Taught him that mistakes are not okay.
- Drew unnecessary attention to herself and made everyone within fifty feet feel uncomfortable.
- Put herself into a negative and destructive emotional state. And no, the demise of the truck wasn’t the problem: her reaction was.
- Made herself look like a complete idiot!
In this life there are many things (most things, in fact) which will happen despite you and me. They will happen to us and around us. Some good. Some bad. However, there is one thing that will always be in our control – unless we choose to hand over that power – and that is, how we react. Life is not fair or unfair my friends; life just is.
A long time ago I made a conscious decision that situations, circumstances and events wouldn’t define me or determine my emotional and psychological states; I will do that myself. Consciously and intentionally. I will choose my mood, my attitude, my behaviours, my reactions and therefore, my outcomes. And therefore my reality. I will be influenced by – but not determined by – the events of my world. To the best of my ability, I will consciously and thoughtfully choose my reactions. Will it always be easy? No. Will I do my best anyway? Yep. I will be ever-mindful of the likely consequences and potential impact of my reactions – on my life and the lives of others. Consciousness and awareness (of how I react and the likely consequences of my reactions) are things that need to be worked on. Forever.
Our reactions can be relationship-enhancing, or relationship-destroying. They can put us in a solution-focused headspace, or a problem-obsessed pity-party. They can make people laugh or fill a room with tension. They can empower people or discourage them. They can make people feel safe and secure or terrified and confused. They can lead to learning and personal growth or bitterness and anger.
Someone much smarter than me once said:
In the context of life, it’s not what happens that matters, but how we react (to what happens) that matters.
I tend to agree.
Today I’m encouraging you to be more mindful, more conscious and more aware of your reactions (big and small) – and the likely outcomes of those reactions – on your life, and the lives of the people in your world. Sometimes, a better life is the by-product of better reactions. So choose to react consciously and responsibly.
As always, love to hear your ideas, thoughts, feedback and stories.
Craig Harper (B.Ex.Sci.) is a qualified exercise scientist, author, columnist, radio presenter, television host, motivational speaker and university lecturer. For the past 25 years he has been a leading presenter, educator, motivator and commentator in the areas of personal and professional development. You can visit Craig’s blog at Motivational Speaker.FREE eBook – So… You’ve Decided to Get in Shape (Again) Craig’s FREE eBook takes 20 – 30 minutes to read, and addresses the REAL getting-in-shape issues based on his 25 years of experience. To get Craig’s FREE eBook click here, weight loss books.
Tiger Woods Press Conference Apology VIDEO
Tiger Woods hugged his mother Kultida after publicly apologizing for “irresponsible and selfish behavior” during his first public statement to a small gathering of reporters and friends at the headquarters of the U.S. PGA Tour in Ponte Vedra Beach, Florida on Friday. The sex-addicted golfer offered a mea culpa for his behavior and vigorously defended [...]
Four in 10 Workers Say They Do Not Fit in with Peers
Rude, gross and inappropriate behavior by co-workers and managers is not the exception in the workplace, research suggests. A similar study on the effects of rudeness finds that when teams witness incivility, negative thoughts dominate and diminish productivity for the larger group.
– Human resources … we have a
problem. Behavior in the workplace varies widely, but it can make some individuals
believe they don’t fit in with the culture of their organization. When almost
four in 10 (39 percent) of nearly 5,000 survey respondents of a November
CareerBuilder survey say they do…
3 Secrets to Getting Your Child to Transition From One Activity to Another
Have you ever told your child that it’s time to go somewhere or do something else and their response was either to ignore you or yell at you? There are ways to avoid this and make the transition from activity to activity easy and smooth.
FTC Sues Intel over Anticompetitive Behavior
The FTC filed suit against Intel over anticompetitive acts that regulators say not only were meant to stifle competition from AMD, but also are now being used against GPU maker Nvidia. The lawsuit comes a month after Intel settled with AMD for $1.25 billion, an agreement that some industry analysts felt would curtail the FTCs probe into Intel.
– Intels $1.25 billion settlement
last month with rival Advanced Micro Devices apparently has done little
to keep regulators from investigating the chip makers business
practices.
The Federal Trade Commission announced Dec. 16 that it is suing
Intel for what regulators say is anticompetitive beha…
Australia’s head swim coach Alan Thompson accused of inappropriate behavior
Swimming Australia says the country’s head swim coach Alan Thompson has taken personal leave following a claim of â€inappropriate behaviorâ€. Swimming Australia chief executive Kevin Neil said Monday an anonymous and unsubstantiated claim of inappropriate behavior had been brought to the
8 Keys to Internet Security
In a recent post, I recommended Panda’s Cloud Antivirus as a decent free antivirus program. Others have recommended different programs, and that’s fine – in the end, I don’t think there’s much meaningful difference between the various antivirus programs, at least in terms of security.
Much more important than which antivirus program you use (or anti-spyware, or firewall, or any security software), or even if you use one at all, are the practices that make up your online behavior. People who do risky stuff on the Internet will get a virus, sooner or later, regardless of how good their security software is. On the other hand, many security experts don’t use any antivirus software and still manage to avoid viruses.
I don’t recommend that you follow in the footsteps of the security experts – the nature of their calling demands a kind of paranoia that few of us can maintain. I recommend a solid package of security software (I run Cloud Antivirus and Windows Defender) but only as a safety net – something to pick up the slack when we make mistakes, not a first line of defense.
The thing with security, online or anywhere else, is that it’s always a trade-off between protection and convenience. I can tell you how to absolutely avoid any risk of computer virus, spyware, or trojan: stay offline and never install anything or use any removable storage media. That’s 100% perfect protection, but it would severely hinder your computer usage. It’s like securing a house: You could build a door-less, window-less titanium-sheathed reinforced-concrete bunker around your house and be absolutely sure burglars couldn’t get in, but you probably wouldn’t want to live there.
The tips below are sufficient to account for all but the most determined attacks against your computer. No amount of software or behavioral change can protect you from every possible attack (if the NSA wants to get on your PC, they are probably going to do so) but you can protect yourself from virtually all of the attacks you’re likely to face online.
I owe thanks for most of these tips to Leo Laporte and Steve Gibson, hosts of the TWiT netcast Security Now. If you’re interested in computer security at a very deep level, this weekly show is your ticket, and I heartily recommend it!
1. Use a router.
The very nature of the way routers works acts as an effective hardware firewall, preventing access to computers on your home network from outside the network. Put simply, when you request something from the Internet – say, you click a link, check your email, or enter a URL – the router notes which computer on its network the request came from so it can send the reply to the proper recipient. If a would be intruder attempts to enter your network, the router checks its list of outgoing requests and, if none is found correlating to the attackers’ IP address, it ignores it. It basically doesn’t know which computer to send it to, so it throws it out.
If you simply cannot use a hardware router, make sure your operating system’s firewall is turned on. This is almost, but not entirely, as good.
2. Do not open email attachments.
I know, who doesn’t want to see pictures of Anna Kournikova naked, right? Email attachments are a major vector for infecting computers, because it’s so easy to fake the sender so the email looks like it came from someone you know, and everybody loves opening attachments from people they know. It could be a funny picture of penguins, after all. But bottom line, don’t open attachments. If your email client automatically opens or previews them, turn that feature off. Even if it’s from your mom, and even if your mom says she opened it and it’s fine, still don’t open it. (By the way, next time you’re at mom’s, reinstall Windows. She’s got tons of viruses now.)
Now, I know that sometimes you have to open attachments, so here’s a simple test to know when it is most likely safe to open an attachment:
- You know that the email is from the person it says it’s from. That usually means that either they said they were sending it, or they’ve written a note that only they could have written.
- You are expecting an attachment from that person.
- You know the person who created the file.
- There is a compelling reason to open the attachment. I’m sorry, ma, but a good laugh isn’t enough to get me to risk my computer’s security.
If you can’t be absolutely, 100% sure on all these counts, trash it.
3. Do not download bittorrent files.
That sucks, I know, but since you’re never absolutely sure where the file comes from, where it’s been, or who might have altered it, bittorrent is risky. Downloading a Linux distribution from Ubuntu is probably ok; downloading it from Pirate’s Bay is a bit dodgy. Downloading Oscar screeners of movies that haven’t been released yet is super-duper dodgy. It’s a real shame to have to forego sticking it to The Man because of practical concerns, but you’re taking a big risk downloading an unknown file from an unknown person about whom the only thing you know is that they don’t feel any compunctions about breaking the law.
4. Do not download warez, porn, or other dubious files.
First they came for my bittorrents, then they came for my porn! It just gets worse and worse, doesn’t it. But really, think about it – people who distribute illegal copies of illegally hacked software a) are demonstrated lawbreakers, b) are familiar with programming code, and c) had access to the code you’re expecting to install on your computer. As for porn, while I’m sure there are plenty of Good Samaritans out there who distribute free pornography simply out of a desire for greater happiness in the world, some small number of them do it for financial gain. If they’re giving you free porn, they must be making money off you another way, and one of the easiest is to install a bunch of malware on your computer, run whatever code they want on it, and then sell the use of your computer to spammers, phishers, and other unsavory sorts. You want to know how bad these guys are? They don’t even care if they give pornography a bad name!
5. Do not download *anything* from sites you’re unfamiliar with.
Again, if you’re intending to install something you’ve downloaded onto your computer, you have to know that only people you trust have had access to it. Adobe, Microsoft, and other software manufacturers are generally trustworthy, as are sites like C|net’s Download.com. “Bob’s Free Software I Like a Whole Bunch†might not be quite as safe a bet.
6. Turn off Flash, Javascript, and other browser plugins.
Flash ads have been used to install viruses. So has Javascript code. You don’t have to do anything to get infected this way; you just visit a site with the malicious code on it and *bam*, you’re infected. Because of that, hardcore security folks turn off Javascript and either block or never install Flash. Personally, I think it limits the usefulness of the Internet too much; I’ve decided to risk running Javascript, and use the FlashBlock plugin in Firefox so I can select which Flash objects on a page I want to run (allowing me, for instance, to watch YouTube videos while preventing Flash ads on the same page from loading).
7. Do not click links in email.
It’s very easy to hide the real destination of links sent in email by using HTML where the text reads “www.perfectlysafesiteyouknowandtrust.com†but the actual URL is “www.reallybadsiterunbymeanpeoplewithnofriends.netâ€. This is how phishing scams work – you think you’re going to PayPal or your bank, but really you’re going to a page designed to look just like your bank’s login page but hosted on the mean people’s server. Also, bad guys often put unique tracking IDs into links, so that they know exactly who clicked on a link – which means that they know which email addresses out of the millions they sent spam to are valid, which makes them worth more money to other spammers. Um, yay?
7a. Do not click shortened URLs.
I don’t like this one, because I like Twitter and you lose a lot of functionality if you don’t use a service like bit.ly or is.gd to shorten URLs, but these links are scary. When you hover your mouse over a link, the URL appears in the email or browser’s status bar, meaning you can verify that the link heads to where it says it does. When you do the same with a shortened URL, it just says the shortened URL. There are Firefox extensions like UnTiny that will reveal the true destination of shortened URLs, and some Twitter clients do as well, but until a universal solution is standardized, these URLs remain a bit scary, security-wise.
8. Install all security updates.
Unless you’re a multi-national mega-corporation running oodles of mission-critical custom-designed software, you need to install security updates as quickly as possible upon release. If remembering to do this isn’t something you think you’d be likely to do, set your computer to automatically download and install updates. Increasingly, we’re seeing “0-day†exploits – viruses and trojans written to make use of security flaws before those flaws are corrected by – or, in some cases, even known to – manufacturers. Keeping up-to-date is essential to keep even marginally safe.
I know that, the world being what it is, someone will be thinking right about now, “Hey, why don’t you just switch to Mac OS X or Linux?†It’s true, those operating systems get far fewer viruses and other problems than Windows PCs, but most experts seem to agree that this is at least in part because there are so many Windows PCs and so few Mac and Linux PCs. (There are plenty of Linux servers, but those are under professional supervision, which goes a long way towards making up for any security weaknesses Linux has.) Bad guys program for the system that allows the greatest spread of their malware, and right now, that’s Windows.
But if you’re still not convinced, I’ve got an even better idea for you. Both Mac OS X and Linux have demonstrated security vulnerabilities, and as they become more common are likely to become targets for hackers. So they’re not really safe bets. Instead, try BeOS! It may be riddled with security holes and only run on Pentium 4 and earlier PCs, but I can guarantee you, nobody is writing viruses for it!
For everyone else, whether you use Windows, Mac, or Linux, make sure to follow the rules above and, chances are, you’ll be just fine.
Dustin M. Wax is the project manager at Stepcase Lifehack. He is also the creator of The Writer’s Technology Companion, a site devoted to the tools of the writing trade. When he’s not writing, he teaches anthropology and gender studies in Las Vegas, NV. He is the author of Don’t Be Stupid: A Guide to Learning, Studying, and Succeeding at College.
Follow him on Twitter: @dwax.
Candy Spelling: Morphing Into Celebrity
The coverage of Janice Min’s resignation from Us Weekly was particularly intriguing because she did so much to change the definition of “celebrity.”
Michael J. O’Neil: The Gates/Crowley Rorschach Test
Was this an instance of racial profiling? Did Gates overreact to a reasonable police request? The truth is that we simply do not have enough information to know what really happened in this case.
What Will the Future Hold for Michael Vick?
For six years Michael Vick savagely electrocuted and beat dogs to death after they lost their brutal fights, demonstrating a startling lack of moral character and judgment.
Marshall Goldsmith: Values You See in Action – Not Hear in Speeches
If our actions are foolish, the wonderful words posted on the wall will only make us look more ridiculous.



