England beat Australia at Lord’s for the first time since 1934, and are now 1-0 up in the Ashes

Andy will be here to start the coverage from 10.30am. Try not to chew off all your fingernails in between now and then.

In fact, to stop you doing that, why don’t you follow some links instead. Paul Hayward thinks the greatest escape since Steve McQueen tried to clear the barbed wire on his TR6 is on. McQueen didn’t make it, of course.

Vic Marks s says likewise and actually thinks Strauss has, for once, been too aggressive in his captaincy.

Actually no one seems to be writing anything that’s designed to make us less nervous, do they? 209 runs? Five wickets? Surely not … anyway, we’ll find out soon enough.

Morning everyone. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Don’t panic. Yet.

Oh what’s the use of telling you that. You’re going to panic anyway aren’t you? Just look at the state of Roland Langebein: “Everything in my life is going well right now – just secured a nice pay rise, and therefore been able to buy my first flat, I enjoy my work and I’m in a happy relationship. And yet I woke up this morning feeling nervous and stressed and all because of the outcome of today’s play. That can’t be right can it? I mean human nature shouldn’t work like that should it?”

Sorry, a payrise? How on earth did you wangle that?

209 runs is just plenty. England need a wicket or two inside the first 15 overs or so. The new ball is only six overs old, and the closer they get to this improbable finish, the sweatier Australia are going to get. Playing well when you’ve no chance of winning is one thing, doing it when you’ve a chance of actually pulling it off is something else altogether. It’s all about the pressure, people, and which side deals with it better.

Clarke and Haddin aside the man to fear is Mitchell Johnson. Though he’s looked utterly shot through in his performances so far, England will still need to remove him quickly when he does come in. The man licks the ball a long way, as South Africa will tell you.

“What’s the ticket situation Andy?” asks Tim Goldby. I’d suggest Tim, that if you’re asking that question now, 37 minutes before the start of play, you’ve not got a chance of getting in. Given that these tickets have been on sale – and sold out – for many months now.

“Michael can you win it?” asks Mike Atherton of Michael Clarke. “I hope so” he replies, “we’ll see”. Yesterday, interestingly, there was much less doubt in his mind.

Here’s Simon Alpren: “If Roland ‘pay rise, new flat, brilliant life’ Longbein is feeling nervous, just think what the rest of us are like. Without the pleasure of an England win to temper my mood, I’ll be back on the sauce before noon.” You mean you’re not on it already? It is 10.30 already…

You can keep your “if England lose this then…” chat. Sorry. Put it on ice and bring it back at lunchtime.

A public service announcement from Tom Carver: “If Simon is avoiding the sauce for financial reasons he should get himself down to Iceland – my local one has 3-litre boxes of cider for £2.25. Perfect for a morning’s cricket watching.” Mmm.

Word from the ground comes courtesy of Gavin Hutchinson “Just sitting at Lord’s watching England warm up and it seems to consist of a ridiculously intense game of football and the Swann getting repeatedly hit in the face whilst attempting slip catches. Are things usually this amateur?” Theu just do that Swann thing for, umm, light relief. Or something. Plucky old Swanny, lifting everyone’s spirits by acting the clown. I hope. “PS” Gavin adds, “tickets 80 quid apparently.”

A declaration on the declaration. Yes, England could have batted on towards lunch yesterday, looking to add another 60-odd runs and take another 20-odd overs out of the game, swinging the balance of Australia’s chase from “improbable” to “all-but-impossible”. But they didn’t. And they were right not too. When the decision was made it was raining – play started 15 minutes late – and the forecast showed that more rain, much more rain was coming. It was the right decision. Just imagine what a panning England would have got if they had batted on and the weather forecasters had got it right.

Some of you, it seems, agree. “Does anybody else feel a bit sorry for Andrew Strauss?” asks Matthew Kilsby, “Slated by Vic Marks for being too aggressive and slated by Mike Brierley for being too conservative. Who’s be England captain, eh? I reckon he has had a decent game and, if they hadn’t declared when they did, they probably wouldn’t have taken any Aussie wickets yesterday. The morning was clearly the best time to bowl as it offered the friendliest conditions on a wicket that is still flat. As for today: don’t worry, we’ll be fine.”

The pessimists just won’t be deterred, as Nick Byren shows: “Am I the only one who has Australia as out right favourites? This is classic England stuff it up territory. Tuffers commented after Day 3 that if England lose from this position there’ll be no way back for their crumpled morale and depressingly I think he might be right.” Look. Just take a moment to think of it this way: imagine this was any other damn team except Australia, faced with the prospect of scoring 209 runs on a fifth day pitch using only their nos 5 and 7, plus their raw tail against an attack that had been utterly rampant for the majority of the match. How do you like them apples?

Here come the players… and there goes my gut. Yes, my self-assurance is a massive bluff. I’m just as nervous as the rest of you.

Australia need 209, England need five wickets.

87th Australia 313-5 (Clarke 125, Haddin 80) need 522
Anderson’s first delivery is full, straight and inswinging. It beats the inside of Clarke’s bat and rouses a reassuring LBW appeal from England. And the next ball curves down the leg side, clipping Clarke’s pads as it flies behind into Prior’s gloves. Another appeal, for caught behind, is turned down by umpire Doctrove. And the fourth is the best appeal yet, swinging back towards off as Clarke pads up. It was a tad too high and a tad too wide for Doctrove to give it. Just the three appeals in the first over then. If you need a reminder of hard this will be for Australia, that was it. “What’s the weather like there?” asks Jason in Dublin, “Are there clouds overhead? Will bowling conditions be favourable this morning.” It’s a little humid, a touch overcast, and otherwise sunny. There’s no chance of rain as far as I know.

WICKET! Haddin 80 c Collingwood b Flintoff (88th over Australia 313-6 need 522) Flintoff to Haddin. His first two balls are short and straight, the second flicking off the inside edge and looping to leg. “Get a short leg in!” grunt both Bumble and Smyth, with uncanny synchronicity. “Why do I feel that we won’t get any decisions from the umpires today,” asks Andy Bradshaw, “not that he really needs an answer after yesterday’s events, even if its a complete no-brainer?” GOTTIM! They don’t need the umpires to give that one! Flintoff finds Haddin’s edge and the ball shoots straight into Collingwood’s hands at third slip. England made that look very easy indeed. That was great bowling by Flintoff, far too good for Haddin. A fierce, short and snorting delivery that flew off the edge. And a good catch by Colly too, low down to his right. A wicket maiden from England’s titan.

89th over: Australia 314-6 (Clarke 126, Johnson 0) need 522
Clarke turns the first run of the morning through leg, putting Johnson on strike and leaving Anderson licking his lips. That hissing you just heard was, as David Hibell writes, “the sound of 1,000s of people across the country breathing a huge sigh of relief.”

90th over: Australia 317-6 (Clarke 127, Johnson 0) need 522
Much as events at Cardiff suggested otherwise, this is not the England team we are used to from Ashes past, and it’s certainly not the Australian team we grew old and weary watching through the last twenty years. Flintoff fires in a mean yorker at Clarke, who drops the bat down in good time to block it out. In doing so he damages his bat – which was breaking up yesterday, he had to stop play to tape it up – and Stuart Clark runs out with a new one for him. Flintoff fires down a bouncer, Clarke ducks into it, and wears it on the back of the helmet. His face as the ball hits is a picture of a man struck with shock and awe. He throws his bat at the next. If it had been a better shot he would only have edged it behind. Awesome stuff from Flintoff. Every ball of this over has been above 90mph, and not one of them has been remotely off target. Johnson, put on strike by a single, edges the next just short of Paul Collingwood at slip. The sixth ball is unplayable, and whizzes past bat, batsman and ‘keeper and away for a bye.

91st over: Australia 321-6 (Clarke 127, Johnson 4) need 522
“Without wanting to sound like a coward (which is hard, because I am), I can’t take this again,” writes Anthony Pease, “I’m tempted to turn off TMS, and eschew the OBO until this match draws out to its inevitable, ghastly conclusion. Would it be possible for you to arrange a large klaxon to be sounded from the top of Guardian Towers once the match is over? How does one honk for a loss, two honks for an unbelievably bad loss sound?” Johnson looks altogether more comfortable against Anderson, getting his bat firmly behind the ball. “Surely Johnson will be out for single figures since he is working as a double agent this summer,” muses Gerald Davies, “I wonder how much we bunged him?” If you’re right, it’s an elaborate bluff because he has just hammered four through extra cover off the back foot.

92nd over: Australia 329-6 (Clarke 128, Johnson 10) need 522
Flintoff bangs in a vicious delivery towards Clarke’s body, the ball hitting him on the hip. “Every time I see him I think, ‘Jeez, I wish I played with Andrew Flintoff” says Warne. Compliments don’t come much higher. Clarke takes a single, putting plenty of faith in his partner. A no-ball from Flintoff, but otherwise it would have been out. It was a 93mph knee-high full toss that his Johnson squarely on the knee roll. He taps the next delivery away square for two runs to leg. Johnson throws a drive at the sixth ball and carves it in the air through cover for four. This bloke is a very, very dangerous player and England need to get him out quick sharp.

93rd over: Australia 331-6 (Clarke 128, Johnson 11) need 522
The first bowling change of the day sees Stuart Broad come into the attack. A good point this, not for us so much as for the players, from Chris Henderson: “Am I the only one not relaxing very much at England taking an early wicket? If this match carries on following recent Ashes form, Clarke and Johnson will now quietly add 100 before lunch while we’re still all breathing sighs of relief and not really paying attention.” A much quieter over this, featuring a pair of singles and nary an appeal.

94th over: Australia 335-6 (Clarke 128, Johnson 15) need 522
Flintoff digs in a bouncer that spits up at Johnson’s throat. He does very well to get his bat behind it and play it down to the off side. But he’s obviously unsettled: he flails a wild hook at the next delivery, misses it entirely and wears it on his shoulder instead. He does it again two balls later, but this time he makes contact and the ball rockets away through deep backward square for four. That means Australia need another 187. A good email this, from Will Sinclair, who is watching from between his fingers behind a couch in Sydney: “Forget about early declarations, and poor umpiring, and contentious catches. This game was won and lost on the first morning, when Strauss and Cook took advantage of some DREADFUL Australian bowling to put on two hundred runs without loss. In the context of this game that was huge, and those two hundred runs are more or less the difference between the two teams.”

95th over: Australia 343-6 (Clarke 136, Johnson 16) need 522
Broad’s first ball is on a nice, boring line outside off stump, inviting the mistake. That will do very well from him today. Clarke pushes a single past point from the next delivery, and Johnson then edges the next behind! But it lands a foot or so in front of Flintoff at slip. He does well to cut it off at all. And that’s a lovely shot from Clarke, stepping out and cover-driving two runs to Ravi Bopara in the deep. Broad responds by pushing his next ball out even wider. Clarke punishes the next, threading it between extra cover and mid-off for four. A single bead of sweat begins to trickle its way down my brow.

96th over: Australia 346-6 (Clarke 136, Johnson 19) need 522
Flintoff is bowling one of his very finest spells here. He beats Johnson’s outside edge, then fires one in at his pads and roars out an LBW appeal. The third ball is short and Johnson almost errs and plays it onto his wicket. He catches the next one though, and clumps it out through cover for three runs. He’s beginning to tire though, is Flintoff, and his speed is finally dipping a touch below 90mph.

97th over: Australia 353-6 (Clarke 136, Johnson 26) need 522
Broad comes around the wicket to Johnson. “I am worried about Johnson” Ian Palmer, that makes you no different to the rest of us, “he has been battered in the press, and that would make a good story. I am worried about Hauritz as he has a broken finger, and has been pilloried in the press, and that would be a good story. I am worried about about Hilfenhaus as he has a good beard. I am worried.” Broad holds to his line wide on the crease – he looks a much better bowler when he does that – and lures Johnson into chasing one. Oh but the next disappears through cover for four, raising the 350 for Australia and leaving them needing 172 to win. He taps the next away to long-on for three more. The bead of sweat has made its way down my cheek and onto my neck…

98th over: Australia 356-6 (Clarke 136, Johnson 26) need 522
Flintoff is still on, but I wonder whether Strauss isn’t thinking about his next bowling change. Johnson has made his way through 39 deliveries so far. On the pavilion balcony, Ricky Ponting frowns and chews a wad of gum. Another vicious bouncer from Flintoff, this one bangs Johnson’s bat handle and squirts away to gully. “What is it with the English mentality?” asks Neil Toolan, as though 2,000 odd years of cultural development could be distilled into one pithy OBO entry, “Before any major sporting competition we have this blind faith that we are going to win, but when it comes to squeaky bum time we always start to fear the worst. If the boot was on the other foot I doubt there would be a single Australian thinking they could lose this, where as I think there are probably more Aussies who think they can win this at the moment than English people thinking we can win it!”

WICKET! Clarke 136 b Swann (99th over: Australia 361-7) need 522
A gambler’s gambit from Strauss, throwing the ball to Graeme Swann. Clarke immediately comes skipping down the pitch. He’s gone! Swann has struck! He’s got his man! Clarke almost yorked himself, coming down the pitch and being beaten by a fuller ball that dipped and turned and ripped out off stump. An inspired bowling change by Strauss, and a fine piece of bowling by Swann. Clarke goes off the pitch to a rousing ovation from a crowd who you guess are celebrating the fact that he has been dismissed rather than the simply applauding his outstanding innings. That was a lovely ball from Swann, as the replays show. The ball drifted away from Clarke towards slip, beat the outside edge, then turned back to his the wicket.

WICKET! Hauritz 1 b Flintoff (100th over: Australia 367-8) need 522
Ricky Ponting is now biting his nail furiously. That was one of the great Ashes innings by Clarke, the memory of which shouldn’t be eclipsed by the fact it looks as though it will have come in a losing cause. And there goes Hauritz! That’s four for Flintoff, courtesy of a serious misjudgement from the batsman, who shouldered arms to a ball that slanted back in at his wicket and knocked over his off stump. Siddle is in, and England are now just two wickets away from the win. These are now Flintoff’s best-ever figures (24-4-69-4) at Lord’s, in his final Test innings at the ground. He almost completes his five-for with a yorker, but Siddle just squeezes it away square for four.

101st over: Australia 375-8 (Johnson 36, Siddle 5) need 522
Johnson drives four out through cover. That is almost a sensational catch by Swann! Johnson drives the ball back towards mid-off and Swann dives full stretch out to his right and gets his hand to the ball, but it just tumbles to earth as he hits the ground. I do believe that Swann is rather enjoying himself here.

102nd over: Australia 381-8 (Johnson 41, Siddle 6) need 522 Smyth here. Bull has gone for what is rather absurdly called a comfort break. This is not permitted in the OBO regulations, of course, so he’ll be docked 10 per cent of his match fee as a result. Four pence, I think that comes to. Johnson, who simply must go into Nathan Astle 2001-02 mode now, drives Flintoff through mid-off for four with intimidating authority. There is almost something Haydenish about the way he stands tall and blitzes you down the ground.

103rd over: Australia 385-8 (Johnson 48, Siddle 6) need 522
“Sir Flintoff!” shouts Richard Harris, “Can I be the first one to propose that Flintoff be knighted – Is the Queen there today? If someone has a rusty sword hanging around she could do the job on the outfield as in days of yore!” Good grief. Just think of it. This is the man who urinated in Tony Blair’s rose bush. Johnson goes imperiously on. England still need his wicket. And there he shows why: he drops to one knee and thwacks four through long-on.

WICKET! Siddle 7 b Flintoff (103rd over: Australia 389-9) need 522
Flintoff continues, the Trojan. “England need to have this match sewn up by lunch,” points out Andy Plowman, “If not, expect Smyth’s presence after lunch to inspire the tailenders to compile a match-winning last stand.” Flintoff is in hot pursuit of his five-for. I don’t think Strauss could get the ball off him even if he wanted to. And Fred has his five-for! His first since 2005! He’s slid his sixth ball between Siddle’s bat and pad and clattered over the stumps. He sticks both arms aloft and turns around the ground to wave to the crowd. But they just won’t stop cheering. Fred doffs his sunhat by way of further acknowledgement.

103rd over: Australia 393-9 (Johnson 51, Hilfenhaus 3) need 522
Swann continues, over and around the wicket. “Urinated on Blair’s roses?” scoffs Alastair Morrison, “Elevate the man to the peerage – can I be the first to propose his Lordship.”

104th over: Australia 403-9 (Johnson 61, Hilfenhaus 3) need 522
“Note to Mr.Strauss:” writes Max Mudrik, “He’s got the five-for. Please, please rest him. There is no way you will get 20 wickets again without him.” Even as I copy and paste that in, Nasser Hussain makes exactly the same point. Fred’s spell toady is 12-1-47-3. Not bad for a crocked lad, eh? Johnson is still going though, and forces four through long-off from the final ball of the over.

WICKET! Johnson 63 b Swann 105th over: Australia 406 (Hilfenhaus 4)
Johnson swings a wild slog-sweep at a full ball from Swann, bowled from around the wicket. He misses by a distance. But when he repeats the shot he connects and the ball is clobbered away to mid-wicket for two. Apparently the site is having technical problems at the moment. Sorry about that. But then it wouldn’t be an OBO without a few gremlins, would it? That’s it! Swann takes the final wicket and it is all over! England have won by 115 runs!

England are 1-0 up in the Ashes! And have beaten Australia at Lord’s for the first time since 1934. Fred leads the team off the field, saluting the deafening roars of the crowd as he walks off. He finishes with figures of 27-4-92-5, and a word too for Graeme Swann, who took 28-3-87-4, with that key wicket of Michael Clarke.

Let me just pause for breath a second, then I’ll be back to indulge in a little post-match chat. If any of you want to get your gloating / ‘I told you so’ / Fred can’t retire! / hahahahahaha / we wuz robbed / emails in, now is the time to do it.

Well, the post-match awards are taking place. “We were outplayed right through the course of the game” says Ricky Ponting, “from the first ball to the last.” Australia start a three-day game against Northamptonshire on Friday, when they will start their counter-attack. It’s coming people. They will not be so easily beaten again in this series. “Do you sense Australia didn’t get the rub of the green in this game?” asks Atherton, “it’s irrelevant now, we’ve lost the game and we can’t complain.” That was well said by him, and he grins as he gets a round of applause from the crowd. “Only one thing spoils the joy of following your coverage today” says Julian Archer, “the Guardian web page has removed the “related article” link which read “McGrath predicts clean sweep for Australia”…”

“I want to give a special mention to Andrew Flintoff” says Andy Strauss, “he was magnificent throughout.” The crowd cheers in agreement, and Fred modestly picks at a fingernail. Man of the match is, unsurprisingly, England Rudi Koertzen Andy Flintoff.

Fred steps up, a broad grin on his face. “Mate there was no chance Strauss would get that ball off me,” he beams, “there are times when you’re a bit tired, and your body is aching but the crowd gets behind you and you just keep going.”

Here’s Andrew MacInally: “It would be really fantastic if the Oz contributors to this OBO chat would gracefully acknowledge that, just this once, they have been beaten by the better team. No grousing, moaning about No-Balls (excuse the pun), bad Ump decisions etc. It would be nice but I don’t expect it.” Eat your words MacInally, here is Eamonn Maloney: “Good show old chap, see you in Edgbaston” and Neil Stork-Brett: “I actually feel privileged to have seen England win their 1st Ashes Test at Lords since 1934! To see history in the making makes up for the bitter taste of defeat. It’s a good day to be a cricket fan.”

Spare a thought for that man Michael Clarke, which is just what Ranil Dissanyake is doing: “In the midst of the celebrations, I think we should mark this match – It could well herald the emergence of Michael Clarke as one of the very best batsmen in the world. I don’t think we’ve seen his talent matched by concentration and a sense of occasion as we had yesterday in any innings he’s played to date.”

And as Lou Roper points out England still have plenty of things to worry about: “I wouldn’t be English if, notwithstanding glorious victory today, I didn’t worry about the fitness of Flintoff (especially after today’s labours) and Pietersen for the rest of the series. If they are unavailable for selection (or hobbled) are we left hoping for the continued difficulties of Johnson and Hughes will carry the Ashes back to Blighty?”

Well the ground is emptying, and the players have long since disappeared for a beer. But I know a lot of you will want to dwell on this for a while yet, Vic Marks’ report from the final day of this marvellous Test match, or go and have your say on how you think the players rated here.

I’m going to wrap this up now, but you can carry on over on Paul Weaver’s freshly minted blog. A little ridiculously, I’m missing the next Test because I’m going to cover the world swimming championships. You’ll be entirely in Rob Smyth’s clammy hands for that Test, and I’ll be following it like the rest of you, right here on the OBO. For now, thanks for the company and all the emails. It’s been a pleasure. And a final thought, one shared by so many of you in my inbox – is it cowardly to pray for a month of rain? Bye.