RSS Feed     Twitter     Facebook

Posts Tagged ‘Guardian’

Should I let my ex see my son?

Post your advice below. The best responses will be published in G2 on Thursday

I have broken up with my partner of nearly two years. I originally moved into his flat, with my three-year-old son, after three months of dating. I can see now that it was too soon. Cracks started to show and eventually I found a text message on his phone from a colleague that pointed to an affair. When I challenged him, he admitted to it and I was devastated.

We could never get over his infidelity and decided to split up. He adored my son and is keen to maintain a relationship with him, but I am not sure. What happens if he meets someone new and starts missing his arranged times? My priority is my son and I want him to be happy. He is keen to see my ex, but is it best simply to cease all contact so I can avoid a) falling for him again or b) getting hurt for a second time if he finds someone new?

If you would like to respond to this week’s problem, please post your comment below.

When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments which appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will not appear.

If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of around 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns. We regret that only letters that are published will be answered.

All correspondence should reach us by Tuesday morning: email private.lives@guardian.co.uk (please don’t send attachments) or write to Private Lives, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Please note that Private Lives and Sexual Healing are opened up to comments each week.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2009 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds


PM ‘speechless’ after McBride email

Read our exclusive Damian McBride interview

Damian McBride, the senior No 10 adviser who resigned after smearing senior Tories, has revealed that Gordon Brown was so angry when he learned about the slurs that “he could barely even speak to me”.

Talking about the affair for the first time, McBride told the Guardian: “I was brought down by the newspapers, and obviously my own stupidity.”

McBride was forced to quit after details of emails he sent to the former Labour aide Derek Draper were leaked to the press.

They contained salacious gossip about frontbench Conservatives, including speculation about David Cameron’s health.

“I let [Downing Street] down appallingly,” he says. “No 10 should have stuck the boot into me much harder.”

Recounting the weekend that the story emerged, he said: “It was running on the news that there was this scandal brewing, but not with any details. So I rang [Brown] and told him what was in the emails and that I knew I’d have to resign.

“I lost my dad three years ago. He was from a religious Scottish upbringing, very stern, and he would have hated reading those emails. I remember thinking, ‘Thank God my dad didn’t have to see this’, but the way Gordon reacted to me that day, it was as bad as telling my dad.” Brown “was just so angry and just so let down he could barely even speak to me”.

The prime minister’s former official spokesman, who was removed from his day-to-day briefing of journalists at the end of last year, said he was “sorry for the damage I did to Gordon and the reputation of No 10. And I’m sorry for the offence I caused to various people by writing those emails about them.”

However, he added he could not apologise for the fact the emails were printed “because that had nothing to do with me, and I never wanted it to happen. As far as I was concerned, those emails went in the bin shortly after they were written … and that’s where they should have stayed”.

Speaking about the aftermath of the affair, he said: “That is the only period when I went through what you would classically call an element of depression or sleepless nights.

“You feel genuinely devastated because of the impact you’ve had.”

McBride also confirmed he has kept an account of the weeks following his resignation and did not rule out publishing the diary. He begins a job as business liaison officer at his old school, Finchley Catholic High, in north London in a week’s time.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2009 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds


Purnell: Labour is living in the past

Exclusive: Former cabinet minister says he has no regrets in first major interview since nearly toppling Gordon Brown

Read Purnell’s full interview in the Guardian tomorrow

James Purnell, the former cabinet minister whose resignation almost toppled the prime minister, tells the Guardian today that he is unlikely to ever return to frontline politics and calls on the Labour party to stop the “nostalgic” hankering for the heyday of New Labour in the late 1990s.

In his first major interview since he quit as work and pensions secretary last month, Purnell likens that period in politics to the dynamism and excitement of the music scene generated around Oasis and Blur. “All those Blairite, New Labour labels … for me it’s a bit like Britpop – I feel nostalgic for it, it was absolutely right for its time, but that time was 1994.”

Purnell was one of the most senior ministers of the 11 who walked out of Brown’s government last month and the only one to directly call on the prime minister to stand down. In his resignation letter, Purnell told the prime minister: “I now believe your continued leadership makes a Conservative victory more, not less likely.”

In his exclusive interview with the Guardian, which will run in full in tomorrow’s paper, the former Downing Street adviser to Tony Blair talks about his career spanning nearly 20 years in politics.

On Monday, Purnell will launch a three-year project at the thinktank Demos on the future of the Labour party, called Open Left. It will include contributions from the respected leftwing backbenchers Jon Cruddas and Alan Simpson.

Rasing doubts about the government track record over 12 years on schools, immigration policy and electoral reform, Purnell says he wants to “try and be as radical on the left as on the right”.

He showers praise on the foreign secretary, David Miliband, and explains the circumstances surrounding his decision to resign from Brown’s government on 6 June as polls closed in council and European elections.

“The moment when it became a really simple decision to take was when I stopped worrying about what exactly would be the consequences of different things and when I realised I just had to be true to myself. I couldn’t go on the telly the following morning and say something I couldn’t believe.”

Describing life after government, he says: “The thing I worked out is that I really loved policy and I love leading an organisation like DWP. Politics, I don’t miss as much. Journalists, I don’t miss as much.

“I love having a weekend. I love not having a red box hanging over me all weekend.”

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2009 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds


I find the idea of sex repulsive

I find the idea of sex repulsive

I have been told that a friend of mine was in pornographic movies when she was 18. I’m 23 and think I’m open-minded, but I am shocked. I grew up in a family where any talk of sex was banned. I have never had a serious (sexual) relationship and view sex, and particularly pornography, as animal-like and repulsive. The only girl that came close to being my girlfriend practically had to force me to sleep with her. How can I become more at ease talking about sex and perhaps even begin to enjoy it as a normal human activity rather than a necessary evil?

Our sexuality encompasses not only our biology but also our psychological makeup, early learning and experiences, our culture, our religious beliefs – and especially the messages we received about sex from carers. Like many other people, you have grown up with negative messages about sexuality, and these have formed your beliefs. With a background that taught you that “sex is dirty and sinful”, no wonder you are shocked to hear that a friend has willingly participated in erotica.

More serious is your inability to enjoy sex as normal and pleasurable. To change this, you will have to do some learning and healing. I recommend that you read enlightening books about sexuality, such as the new Joy of Sex. Try to discuss sex with your peers, and listen carefully to their thoughts and feelings about sex. A good sex therapist can help you gain greater comfort with both subject and practice.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2009 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds


Guardian shows MPs hacking proof

MPs investigating allegations of widespread use of private investigators by the News of the World to hack into phones were handed documents today revealing that more journalists were involved in the practice than the paper’s owner, News International, has previously admitted.

During testimony to the Commons committee on culture, media and sport, the Guardian investigative reporter Nick Davies produced previously unseen records which showed that two senior figures on the paper as well as a junior reporter had a role in obtaining the contents of private voicemail messages through a private investigator.

News International has previously insisted that only one of its journalists, the royal editor, Clive Goodman, had used this illegal method. He was jailed for four months in January 2007, along with a private investigator, Glenn Mulcaire.

Yesterday Davies handed over copies of an email from an unnamed junior News of the World reporter to Mulcaire that also referred to the paper’s chief reporter, Neville Thurlbeck. In the email, the reporter says: “Hello, this is the transcript for Neville.” Davies told the committee that the email, dated 29 June 2005, contained “a typed-up transcript of 35 messages which Mulcaire had hacked from the telephones of Gordon Taylor, chief executive of the Professional Footballers Association, and Jo Armstrong, a legal adviser at the PFA”.

The second document handed to MPs was a contract dated February 2005 between the News of the World assistant editor Greg Miskiw and Mulcaire – who was using an alias, Paul Williams. In the document, Miskiw promises Mulcaire a bonus of £7,000 if he delivers a specific story about Gordon Taylor.

The Guardian revealed last week that Taylor, Armstrong and a third person were paid a total of more than £1m in costs and damages by the News of the World’s parent company, News Group, to settle a lawsuit for breach of privacy and to keep it secret. Davies told the committee: “It is hard to resist the conclusion that [News International] have consistently admitted only what has been dragged into the public domain and is indisputable.”

The Guardian’s editor, Alan Rusbridger, who was also giving evidence to MPs, said the Taylor story was significant “because it undermines the assurances given both to you and the PCC [Press Complaints Commission] about the sole reporter and the sole detective – the so-called rotten apple defence”. He continued: “News International have known about the involvement of other journalists, including at senior level, for at least a year. It is believed the case [Gordon Taylor] was settled last September. So that begs the question: why they did not tell the PCC, the regulators, or this committee, of the new facts that have come to light.”

The Conservative party’s director of communications, Andy Coulson, who was editing the News of the World at the time of the Goodman case, resigned when Goodman was convicted.

Both documents produced by the Guardian today had been seized by police during the Goodman case.

Rusbridger said the Guardian story was not “a campaign to oust anybody”.

“It wasn’t a campaign to reopen the police inquiry, or to call for prosecutions or to force anybody to resign. We have not called for any of those.

“As a paper we do believe in effective self-regulation and we don’t want a privacy law. When it comes to effective self- regulation, it seems to me it can only work if newspaper groups are truthful and open with the regulators.”

He suggested to MPs that a possible way forward for newspaper editors would be to draw on a definition of the public interest proposed by the government’s former security co-ordinator Sir David Omand.

John Whittingdale, who chairs the culture committee, said the Guardian’s revelations “raised questions” about the extent of phone hacking at the tabloid. News of the World editor Colin Myler and Tom Crone, the paper’s in-house lawyer, will give evidence to the MPs next week.

It also emerged today that the Home Office questioned the decision by Scotland Yard’s assistant commissioner, John Yates, not to reopen the Met’s phone-tapping investigation.

An exchange of letters placed in the House of Commons library discloses that Stephen Rimmer, the Home Office’s director general of crime and policing, wrote to Yates last Friday asking what the Met was doing about the allegations about the involvement of 27 other journalists and whether the police would be informing all those allegedly targeted.

Yates’s reply, sent the same day, said that he had not conducted a review and said he had only been asked by the Met commissioner to establish the facts in the light of the Guardian’s articles in connection with the 2005 police investigation.

Yates’s confirmation that the original investigation did not cover any other journalists has fuelled demands at Westminster that Scotland Yard reopen its investigation. Its understood the Commons home affairs select committee is also likely to open its own investigation into the police failure to look into the wider allegations unless it receives a satisfactory explanation by the end of this week.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2009 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds


Guardian Daily: Fighting organised crime

The latest Guardian/ICM poll shows the Conservatives extending their lead over Labour. Julian Glover has the details.

Former Conservative party leader Iain Duncan Smith – who now runs the Centre for Social Justice thinktank – tells Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee how he thinks the government should help the family.

Home affairs editor, Alan Travis, looks at a new government report into the spread of organised crime.

Polly Curtis explains the significance of a Charity Commission report today which tells two independent schools they must do more for poorer children or face losing their charitable status.

And Martin Wainwright revisits Nadia Clarke, who he first met in 1998, when she was six years old, to find out how she fared being educated in mainstream schools despite her cerebral palsy and deafness.


Guardian shows MPs hacking proof

Documents produced by Nick Davies involve senior News of the World journalists in Mulcaire affair

• How the Guardian committee hearing unfolded

The Guardian today produced evidence to MPs that shows phone-hacking at the News of the World was more widespread than its owner News International had claimed.

Documents passed to the Commons culture, media and sport committee, which is investigating phone hacking, reveal that Neville Thurlbeck, the paper’s chief reporter, read transcripts of 35 hacked telephone messages between PFA chief executive Gordon Taylor and Jo Armstrong, a legal advisor at the PFA.

They were sent in an email to Glenn Mulcaire, a private investigator on the paper’s payroll, by an unnamed junior reporter on the paper on 29 June 2005. In the email, the reporter says “Hello, this is the transcript for Neville”. The committee was told by Guardian reporter Nick Davies this was Neville Thurlbeck.

Mulcaire was used by the paper’s former royal editor, Clive Goodman, who was jailed in January 2007 along with Mulcaire. Executives at the NoW’s owner, News International, have always maintained that Mulcaire and Goodman were acting alone and without the knowledge of managers or executives at the paper.

A second document is a contract between the News of the World and Glenn Mulcaire offering him a bonus of £7,000 if he worked to develop a story they were after. It includes the name of Greg Miskiw, then the paper’s assistant editor in charge of news. It used the false name of Paul Williams but was sent to Mulcaire.

MPs were also shown an invoice from an unnamed private investigator for work carried out for the News Group, which publishes NI’s tabloid titles, dating back to 1998.

Nick Davies, the Guardian reporter who wrote the story, told the committee: “It is hard to resist the conclusion that [News International] have consistently admitted only what has been dragged into the public domain and is indisputable.”

Earlier, PCC director Tim Toulmin told MPs. “People had raised eyebrows that Andy Coulson did not know what was going on. I would say – having been exposed as not knowing – he then resigned because he did not know what was going on. For that reason he resigned and paid a high price.”

The Guardian’s editor, Alan Rusbridger, said: “This is not a campaign to oust anyone, to reopen the police inquiry, for more prosecutions [or to] force anyone to resign. We have not called for any of those.”

He added that one of the key questions was whether self regulation of the press was “effective”.

• To contact the MediaGuardian news desk email editor@mediaguardian.co.uk or phone 020 3353 3857. For all other inquiries please call the main Guardian switchboard on 020 3353 2000.

• If you are writing a comment for publication, please mark clearly “for publication”.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2009 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds


Is it time to move on?

Post your advice in the comments section below. The best responses will be published in G2 on Thursday

I am in my early 50s and am deeply in love with my husband. Unfortunately, he seems to be living a life of his own. We had a loving relationship until he experienced a career change that affected our financial situation. Now I work full-time but I am still doing all the chores.

I don’t really mind, but since I now seem to be a workhorse (at least in my eyes), I have become unattractive to my husband. We have not had any sexual relationship in the last two years. I have made several attempts to initiate intimacy but I have been told the usual things – headache, good book, too tired. I am beginning to think that my menopausal body is the cause, although I am still trotting around in the same sized jeans that my 17-year-old daughter wears.

I am at a loss to know how I can deal with this emotionally. I am still the girl who wants to be spending time with her husband, but it is not reciprocated. Is it time to move on?

If you would like to respond to this week’s problem, please post your comment below.

When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments which appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will not appear.

If you would like fellow readers to respond to a dilemma of yours, send us an outline of the situation of around 150 words. For advice from Pamela Stephenson Connolly on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns. We regret that only letters that are published will be answered.

All correspondence should reach us by Tuesday morning: email private.lives@guardian.co.uk (please don’t send attachments) or write to Private Lives, The Guardian, Kings Place, 90 York Way, London N1 9GU. Please note that Private Lives and Sexual Healing are opened up to comments each week.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2009 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds


MPs shown phone-hacking evidence

News of the World exposé ‘might contradict’ evidence of Les Hinton, adds chairman of commons culture committee

John Whittingdale, the chairman of the commons culture committee, said today that the Guardian revelations about alleged phone hacking at the News of the World “raised questions” about the extent of the practice and “might contradict” evidence given by former News International executive chairman Les Hinton.

Speaking at the start of a hearing prompted by Guardian stories that the paper’s publisher had secretly paid £1m to victims of phone hacking at the tabloid, he revealed that Hinton did not want to change the evidence he gave to a previous culture committee inquiry into press self-regulation in 2007.

Whittingdale said “when the committee saw these stories it did raise questions. It appeared there might be some contradiction between [them and] the evidence given by Les Hinton two years ago”.

In his letter to Whittingdale, Hinton said the answers he gave in 2007 were “sincere” and “comprehensive” and that he declined to appear.

Giving evidence to the committee, Tim Toulmin, the director of the Press Complaints Commission, said that the watchdog would contact the News of the World again in the light of the Guardian stories, which revealed that PFA chief exec Gordon Taylor and two others were paid a total of £1m in out-of-court settlements by the Murdoch title after suing on privacy grounds.

He said that the Guardian stories “gave us cause for concern. We’re going to ask further questions [to discover] whether there was any evidence we were misled.”

“The fact that Gordon Taylor had sued the paper and the suggestion that another reporter at the NoW knew about Mulcaire’s activity – I think that’s new, and we will be chasing that with the Guardian”.

Glenn Mulcaire was the private investigator used by Clive Goodman, former NoW royal editor to obtain information illegally, sometimes by hacking into mobile phone messages. Both men were jailed in January 2007 after admitting the offence.

Toulmin said the PCC would be “writing to the paper [NoW] once we have as much information as we can possibly lay our hands on.”

He added that the board of the PCC, which meets next week, will ultimately decide whether further action should be taken. “If there is any evidence we have been misled, we will be straight on it.”

Paul Farrelly MP asked Toulmin what aspects of the case the PCC would investigate.

Farrelly said the PCC might want to ask how Mulcaire was paid: if it came out of a retainer or a “separate slush fund”.

Farrelly also said the PCC should ask “how far up the chain of command a settlement of the Taylor case went? Did it go to the board of NI?”

Toulmin said “We weren’t told about the Taylor settlement”.

Farrelly pointed out that NoW journalists and executives who organised and attended PCC training seminars held in the wake of the Goodman case would have known about the Taylor case.

He also asked whether the PCC regretted his decision not to call former NoW editor Andy Coulson during its 2007 investigation into the extent of phone hacking and other activities on Fleet Street. Toulmin said “maybe it would have been better for the PCC to have done so. The focus of this is on have we been misled?

“If Andy Coulson has any evidence … he may come into it as a relevant party. That is a decision for the board. We are going to test what they said to us two years ago with what [we] now know.”

Toulmin added that he was convinced such practices were no longer commonplace on Fleet Street because of the amount of publicity they received in the wake of the Goodman trial. The hearing is also taking evidence from the Guardian News & Media editor-in-chief, Alan Rusbridger, reporter Nick Davies, and the GNM deputy editor, Paul Johnson.

• To contact the MediaGuardian news desk email editor@mediaguardian.co.uk or phone 020 3353 3857. For all other inquiries please call the main Guardian switchboard on 020 3353 2000.

• If you are writing a comment for publication, please mark clearly “for publication”.

guardian.co.uk © Guardian News & Media Limited 2009 | Use of this content is subject to our Terms & Conditions | More Feeds


Guardian Daily: Fighting organised crime

The latest Guardian/ICM poll shows the Conservatives extending their lead over Labour. Julian Glover has the details.

Former Conservative party leader Iain Duncan Smith – who now runs the Centre for Social Justice thinktank – tells Guardian columnist Polly Toynbee how he thinks the government should help the family.

Home affairs editor, Alan Travis, looks at a new government report into the spread of organised crime.

Polly Curtis explains the significance of a Charity Commission report today which tells two independent schools they must do more for poorer children or face losing their charitable status.

And Martin Wainwright revisits Nadia Clarke, who he first met in 1998, when she was six years old, to find out how she fared being educated in mainstream schools despite her cerebral palsy and deafness.


Digital media and the future of journalism

I mentioned earlier this week the session on digital media and journalism I chaired at the Communicate conference in London. One of our speakers was Ruth Sunderland, business and media editor of The Observer – The Guardian/Observer media group being one of the earliest adopters of digital in the mainstream UK media. Ruth kindly shared [...]

Guardian Launches Full RSS Feeds, First Media Company Not To Suppress RSS Adoption

On the eve of The Guardian’s launch of full text RSS feeds, Matt McAlister, Head of Guardian Developer Network, pinged me looking for examples of other mainstream media companies that have full text RSS feeds. Surely this many years into the age of syndication, Guardian couldn’t be the first mainstream media company to adopt full [...]