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FASHION DILEMMA
Is Mariah Carey suffering from a gender identity crisis?
Some of you may wonder how it’s possible for heaven’s very own warbling angel, Mariah Carey, to pose our dilemma this week. It’s not as if she’s at the head of the fashion pack or likely to become a muse for Lagerfeld. Let’s face it, she barely manages to find clothes that fit half the time.
Neither does her window-shattering voice get us excited. In fact, there’s only one reason we’re listening to one of her songs (and if you’re of a nervous disposition, we advise you to take a few deep breaths now): the pneumatic one has had a ‘male-over’.
The singer wears a grey tracksuit, baseball cap and an abundance of facial hair in the video to her latest single, Obsessed. Drawing rapidly denied comparisons to Eminem, Mariah’s husband Nick Cannon told an MTV reporter that his wife has no beef with the rapper. He said (in what we can only describe as a truly original pun): “She’s not beefing, she’s a vegetarian”. Mariah herself tweeted, “I am NOT at any point in the video playing a specific person. I’m dressed as a ‘stalker’ in 3 different ensembles.”
Whatever she says, we think she looks exactly like a dodgy character from the streets of Baltimore. Our excitement levels peaked during the second scene when we thought that Jimmy McNulty might turn up drunk and arrest her for crimes against music. It didn’t happen, but when Mariah (in stalker guise) started dancing with a life-size cardboard cut-out OF HERSELF in a room bedecked with posters OF HERSELF we nearly got out a gun and shot the computer to hell.
Even more disturbing (it seems impossible, doesn’t it?) was Mariah’s acting ability, which made one scene so realistic that we wondered if art was imitating life. The adoring gaze that Mariah-as-doorman cast upon Mariah-as-superstar was reminiscent of the scenes between Frodo and Sam in Lord of the Rings. There was that much love. Unsubtle? Mariah? Never.
BANG ON TREND
Summer jackets
Dressing is difficult at the moment, what with the weather being hot, cold and wet, all on the same day. With no way to predict when it’s going to rain or shine, a girl needs to carry around a lightweight jacket to throw on and off as the skies dictate.
Miss Selfridge has a nice Stella-inspired blazer (in the dreaded nude shade) that will keep you cool when the sun’s out and warmish when it’s in. For £40 it’s a bargain.
For those of a sporty persuasion, we like this bright pink jacket by Bench from Republic for £39.99.
On the denim front, this jacket by Levi’s at £54 is a classic that reminds us of our school days. Wear it a lot: the more distressed it is, the better – but for God’s sake, don’t wear it with jeans. Urban Outfitters has a selection of really nice denim jackets with a twist. We especially like this military one for £55 and this batwing one for £65.
For something a little more hardwearing, but still lightweight, try Barbour’s sandstone jacket and tap into the safari trend seen on the catwalks last season. It costs £209 and is available from johnlewis.com.
We love Rick Owens’ blistered leather jacket with its gorgeous feminine silhouette. However, we will continue to love it from a distance because it costs £1,465. We’ll make do with this soft grey leather jacket from All Saints for £200.
If you need a more formal look for the office try this white M&S 125 Years Bouclé Jacket, which smacks of Jackie O glamour for a mere £69.
FASHIONISTA OF THE WEEK
Kim Kardashian
We never thought we’d see the day when self-made sex tape star Kim Kardashian would grace these webpages as Fashionista of the Week, but we love an LBD and this is a great example of one. We like it all the more because it’s from Topshop and only cost £38. The shoulders are very of the moment with their little peaks, and Kim accessorised the dress with a space-age silver necklace. Good work.
QUOTE OF THE WEEK
She comes off as genuinely sweet, sunny and slightly dim, her punkette look the thinnest candy coating over an interior filled primarily with airy, whipped pink goo and nuvo-hippie, gestalt-y wow-ness.
The New York Times’ Cintra Wilson waxes lyrical over Agyness Deyn.
FASHION GRAVEYARD
An email fell into Fashion Statement’s inbox this week. It wasn’t an invitation to the latest celebrity party, and neither was it Karl Lagerfeld asking for an interview. It was news of the worst kind: American Apparel has launched a hideous new product called the ‘Nylon Tricot Micro-Mesh Two-Sided Legging’. Effectively it’s half legging, half 10-denier tights and it’s bloody awful. If you fancy a Lady Godiva-esque jaunt through town check out the look on American Apparel’s website.
SHOPPING NEWS
Boyfriend not quite cutting it on the beach? Don’t worry, help is at hand at Debenhams. The nationwide store has just released “the wimp’s revenge” – spray-on muscles. The treatment from St Tropez costs around £30 and consists of two applications of fake tan, the second darker layer working to create an optical illusion of serious abs. Beware: it might take more than one can. Call 08445 616 161 for more details.
The word on the street is that Jil Sander’s highly anticipated collection for Uniqlo will be called +J. The range will consist of about 40 pieces for men and 100 for women, including coats, jackets, knitwear, T-shirts and accessories. The Sander trademark design features – simple, fluid lines – will carry on through into the high street collection.
OUT AND ABOUT
A new exhibition celebrating men in fashion photography opens tomorrow at The Photographers’ Gallery in London. When You’re a Boy focuses on Simon Foxton, a stylist whose career spans the last three decades. The exhibition runs until 4 October and admission is free.
Want to learn more about what you can do to help the environment? Then it might be an idea to attend the Wee Do lectures – a smaller version of the Do lectures (which take place in Wales) run by clothing brand Howies. Once a month in Howies’ Carnaby Street shop you can stop by, have a drink and be inspired by ‘doers’ like Hackney City Farm, Cooler Magazine and Respect the Mountain. Visit thedolectures.com for more information.
OFFCUTS
Hadley Freeman answers readers’ penetrating questions including: ‘Why do female models always look as if they need to go to the loo?’
Celebrate the UK release of Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince by crafting a magical Daniel Radcliffe cross stitch.
Get the lowdown on Vivo Barefoot’s
latest ethical trainers.
For all the latest fashion and celebrity news, visit guardian.co.uk/fashion
News to tell us? Email rachel.holmes@guardian.co.uk
