Singer-actress Jennifer Lopez doesn’t give advice to expectant mothers as she had found it “annoying” when people constantly gave her their opinion when she was pregnant with twins Max and Emme. “Everybody gives you a lot of advice when you are pregnant, which I find a tiny bit annoying, so I’m not going to give [...]
Posts Tagged ‘parenting’
J-Lo avoids giving parenting tips
Kendra Wilkinson Writing Second Book On Parenting
Kendra’s writing a new book. Playboy Playmate-turned-New York Times Bestselling Author Kendra Wilkinson has reportedly inked a deal to pen the follow-up to her 2009 bestselling autobiography, Sliding Into Home. After chronicling the tale of her tough upbringing and days as a blonde teen wildchild, the 25-year-old NFL wife is channeling her inner Kate Gosselin [...]
How to Answer 12 of Your Kid’s Most Awkward Questions Like a Badass
We all know that kids can and will ask questions that you simply don’t want to answer. You’ve got to say something, because they won’t stop asking it until you do. The thing is, the straight and truthful answers to some of these questions aren’t exactly the sort of thing you tell a child.
4 Ways to Spend Time with Your Kids When You Have No Time

It was Dr. Anthony P. Witham who once said “children spell love…T-I-M-E.” He was definitely onto something. Unfortunately, if you are like most parents, time is a precious commodity that often eludes us. Whether we have a new job, a new baby, or we just need to make the coffee or strip the beds, we always seem to be wishing for more time. We need more. We want more. But we feel we just don’t have it. Does that mean we don’t love them? Of course not.
Spending quality time with our children is extremely important for their development and happiness. I have interviewed thousands of children around the world and they told me that time spent with them doesn’t need to be elaborate or long, but it must be “quality”. We must find ways then to slow down and slip in some memorable time that will let our children know that we love and care for them.
Many children will let you know in their own “subtle” ways if they feel that you are not giving them the attention that they need. Some will withdraw while others will “act out.” You might see it when a child gives “lip” to a teacher, fights with another classmate or resorts back to behaviors that once got your attention like increased crying, throwing tantrums or even bed-wetting. This is a way to capture your attention, albeit often negative, so that they can enjoy “focused” time with you. Essentially the thought process is, “if I can’t get her attention by doing something good, I’ll get her attention by doing something bad.” Nobody wants that!
So how can you find time when you feel you don’t have any to spend?
1. One-on-one time
Alone time with your child is best when you are doing something you both enjoy. With one family it may be the time when Dad takes the baby so Mom can spend time with the older child. This could mean going to a movie, going to the local theater to see Cinderella, or just sitting at the park on a bench and talking. The frequency of one-on-one time is up to you, but the children I interviewed said at least once a month is the minimum. If you are a single mother with more than one child you could arrange it so that each Saturday you spend quality time with one of your children and the last Saturday of the month you spend quality time as a family.
Marking your dates down on a calendar is a great idea and shows your children you make this time a priority.
2.Integrate Together Time into Your Daily Schedule
Children love to help. Do you have a mailing to do? Have them put the stamps on the envelopes. Need to go shopping? Make grocery shopping “fun time” with you. Need to make dinner? Let them help you by contributing to the preparation process. While it might be messier and it may time more time in the beginning, you will see that the children will become your greatest helpers and they will look back and remember that “before dinner” was always special time with you.
3. Phantom Time
Don’t have a moment to spare until about 3 a.m.? You can still let your children know that you care. Write notes and drop them into their lunch boxes. This was one of the top ten things children told me made them feel loved and cared for by their parent. Other ideas would be to record a short video for them using a camera and leaving it for them at the breakfast table. Be creative here!
4. Break time
Everyone is busy. Some parents are busier than others. Slide in a “break time” so that you and your children can spend 15 minutes or a half hour together. Set a timer if you need to so that everyone knows when “break time” starts and finishes. Give warnings to your children when 2 minutes are left so that it doesn’t come as a surprise. Don’t even have break time available? Wake your child up 15 minutes early so that you can spend a little extra time doing something fun in the morning. You might not think that 15 minutes is any significant time at all, but to a child, it is 15 extra minutes with you.
Spending time with your children provides them with opportunities to learn and to be heard. Most of all, it provides you and your children with time to connect. It’s these connections that make your children feel loved. So leave the beds unstripped for another few minutes and put the coffee on an automatic timer. Take those extra moments to spend with your children. When you look back, you will be thankful for the memories.
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Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life. You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at ErinParenting.com.
What Children Can Teach Their Parents
Every parent has experienced the phenomena of their child begging for their favourite story to read, their favourite song to be played or their favourite movie to be watched for the 100th time. Even though we adults might be tempted to hide the favourite book or introduce a new book, CD, or DVD, we must stop ourselves because our children are actually teaching us a huge lesson about how they want and need to be parented.
11 Way to Instill a Love of Reading in Your Child
Reading helps us in every area of our lives. It helps us become successful in school and later in our careers, it helps us grow as individuals by either teaching us new information or by allowing us to step into someone else’s shoes. Reading can also help us become more compassionate and empathetic, as well as give us pure enjoyment and relaxation.
How to Make EVERY day Valentine’s Day
Valentine’s Day. The red hearts make us feel like love and happiness is all around. We see images of couples hugging and gazing into each other’s eyes and we want that. We go shopping at beautifully decorated stores and envision making our loved one feel special and cherished. And, secretly, we hope our partners are thinking and doing the same for us. The spirit behind Valentine’s Day is beautiful. Don’t we all want more of it though?
15 Truly Awful Celebrity Parents
Although it may not always be fun, the responsibility of ensuring a child’s well being should always be a parent’s number one priority. Unfortunately, some celebs simply neglect this general rule — as easily as they do most other ones — and as a result, their children suffer. Here are fifteen celebrities who have been caught being awful parents.
5 Steps to a Calmer Evening
Whether you work outside the house or stay at home full-time, the toughest part of the day is the same: those frantic early evening hours when there are mouths to feed, homework to do, and cranky kids to handle. The trick is to streamline your to-do’s so you can feel calmer and focus on what counts – spending time with your family. Here’s how.
The Secret to Helping Your Child Excel in School and in Life
Is your child struggling in school? Does your child stall when it comes time to do homework? Does your child’s teacher often comment that your child is capable, but is just not working to his or her potential? Or, does your child do alright in school, but seems a bit bored or lacks enthusiasm for learning? There is a little secret that you need to know in order to change this.
We are all born with certain propensities. We enjoy doing some things more than others and we see the world and experience it from a certain perspective. Parents can often say, “Oh, Johnny could stay outdoors playing in the dirt all day long,†or “Susie is such a people personâ€. At a very early age children show what they enjoy doing and what they are naturally interested in. Paying attention to this can be very beneficial to parents and in turn, to their children.
Dr. Howard Gardner, professor of education at Harvard University, developed a theory called, “Multiple Intelligencesâ€. It suggests that the traditional notion of intelligence, based on I.Q. testing, is far too limited. Instead, Dr. Gardner proposes eight different intelligences to account for a broader range of human potential in children and adults.
Here is a brief summary of these eight intelligences:
1) Linguistic intelligence (word smart) involves sensitivity to spoken and written language, the ability to learn languages, and the capacity to use language to accomplish certain goals. This intelligence includes the ability to effectively use language to express oneself rhetorically or poetically; and language as a means to remember information. Writers, poets, lawyers and speakers are among those that Gardner sees as having high linguistic intelligence.
2) Logical-mathematical intelligence (number/reasoning smart) consists of the capacity to analyze problems logically, carry out mathematical operations, and investigate issues scientifically. In Gardner’s words, it entails the ability to detect patterns, reason deductively and think logically. This intelligence is most often associated with scientific and mathematical thinking.
3) Musical intelligence (music smart) involves skill in the performance, composition, and appreciation of musical patterns. It encompasses the capacity to recognize and compose musical pitches, tones, and rhythms.
4) Bodily-kinesthetic intelligence (body smart) entails the potential of using one’s whole body or parts of the body to solve problems. It is the ability to use mental abilities to coordinate bodily movements.
5) Spatial intelligence (picture smart) involves the potential to recognize and use the patterns of wide space and more confined areas.Â
6) Interpersonal intelligence (people smart) is concerned with the capacity to understand the intentions, motivations and desires of other people. It allows people to work effectively with others. Educators, salespeople, religious and political leaders and counselors all need a well-developed interpersonal intelligence.
7) Intrapersonal intelligence (self smart) entails the capacity to understand oneself, to appreciate one’s feelings, fears and motivations.
8) Naturalist intelligence (nature smart) enables human beings to recognize, categorize and draw upon certain features of the environment. A number of schools in North America have looked to structure curricula according to these intelligences, and to design classrooms and even whole schools to reflect the understandings that Howard Gardner developed. It takes a commitment though from school boards, administrators and teachers to put something like this into practice.
Dr. Gardner says that our schools and culture focus most of their attention on linguistic and logical-mathematical intelligence. We esteem the highly articulate or logical people of our culture. However, Dr. Gardner says that we should also place equal attention on individuals who show gifts in the other intelligences: the artists, architects, musicians, naturalists, designers, dancers, therapists, entrepreneurs, and others who enrich the world in which we live.
Unfortunately, many children who have these gifts don’t receive much reinforcement for them in school. Many of these kids, in fact, end up being labeled “learning disabled,” “ADD,” or simply underachievers, when their unique ways of thinking and learning aren’t addressed by a heavily linguistic or logical-mathematical classroom.
So, if your child’s school does not teach based on these principles, how can you as the parent use them to help your child be successful in school and in life?
Let’s first take a look at how Howard Gardner’s theory would work in a classroom. Then, we’ll look at how you can use these techniques at home.
Let’s pretend a teacher needs to teach a lesson about the law of supply and demand. They might read to their students about it (linguistic), study mathematical formulas that express it (logical-mathematical), examine a graphic chart that illustrates the principle (spatial), observe the law in the natural world (naturalist) or in the human world of commerce (interpersonal); examine the law in terms of one’s own body [e.g. when you supply your body with lots of food, the hunger demand goes down; when there's very little supply, your stomach's demand for food goes way up and you get hungry] (bodily-kinesthetic and intrapersonal); and/or write a song (or find an existing song) that demonstrates the law (perhaps Bob Dylan’s “Too Much of Nothing? Or John Mayer’s “Waiting on the World to Change”).
It isn’t necessary for teachers to teach something in all eight ways, just for them to see what the possibilities are, and then decide which particular pathways align best with the topic. As well, a teacher should also provide students with an opportunity to discover which intelligence best describes themselves. After students are aware of this they can take charge of their learning. When they study for tests they can relate all the ideas to topics that mean something to them. When they do a project they can present it in a way that most makes sense to them.
If your child’s school doesn’t work this way then you can still teach this to your child and they can still use the strategy to study and complete projects and assignments.
The first step is to go to http://www.bgfl.org/bgfl/custom/resources_ftp/client_ftp/ks3/ict/multiple_int/index.htm
Have your child take the test that determines their intelligence. Then describe all eight intelligences to them, in language appropriate to their age of course, so that they will have a clearer understanding of each one.
Once your child is clear about how they learn and how this is innately what they enjoy, then the next step is to show them how they can use this with their school work.
When an assignment or project comes home tell them to put the topic of whatever the project is in the center of a blank sheet of paper, and draw eight straight lines or “spokes” radiating out from this topic. Label each line with a different intelligence. Then start brainstorming ideas for learning or showing that topic and write down ideas next to each intelligence. They might just want to do the assignment in a way that aligns with their intelligence, but it’s important for them to know that everyone has a little of each intelligence so they can mix and match too.
With anything new, this process will need guidance and practice however, you will be amazed at how quickly they catch on and how engrossed in their homework they will be.
Our world has become smaller due to globalization and it’s also becoming a world where different “traits†or intelligences are needed. Let’s help our children understand and feel good about themselves. With these two things in place they will feel confident to use what they’ve got to help make their difference in this world.
Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life. You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at ErinParenting.com.
3 Secrets to Getting Your Child to Transition From One Activity to Another
Have you ever told your child that it’s time to go somewhere or do something else and their response was either to ignore you or yell at you? There are ways to avoid this and make the transition from activity to activity easy and smooth.
Create a Stress-Free Home: An Introduction to Feng Shui
If I asked you what words come to mind when you think of your home, what would you say? Would you tell me that it brings you peace every time you walk in the front door? Would you say that the items in your home inspire you and bring you joy every time you look at them? Would you describe your household as organized and calm? A peaceful, calm household that is organized and filled with happiness and laughter is the type of home anyone would love to say they own. It is also the best type of home in which to raise a family. So, how do we ensure that we can describe our homes this way? It’s actually easier than you think, but you must take the first step.
The Top 10 Things Children Really Want Their Parents To Do With Them
What do you think matters most to your children? You driving them to lessons and practices, or is it the smile and hug you greet them with after school?
What We REALLY Want For Christmas
Stores are busy right now. Maybe people aren’t buying as much as in past years but they’re buying nonetheless. Everyone is in the spirit of giving, but deep down also looking forward to receiving. The common denominator here is “things” and “stuff”. Now, I’m all for making people happy and seeing the smile on their face when they open an exciting gift – that really brings me joy. And, of course, I love receiving a gift from someone special, but life experience has taught me that this “stuff” cannot really bring what most of us want for Christmas .
How to Take Christmas to a Whole New Level
Our children love certain toys or brands and they make their lists for sure, however, I suggest that we parents do something a little extra special at Christmas.
Christmas is such an exciting time. Family and friends gather together to laugh, eat great food and share gifts with each other. What could be better? There is one way parents can make Christmas even better and that is by giving their children a present that is a tradition.
My parents always gave us presents that we had asked for however my mother always bought us a new pair of pajamas. We were just as excited to see what type or color we would be getting that year. It gave warmth to our Christmas celebration and deepened the connection we had with our mother. My father saw how happy we became, even as teenagers when we opened the special gift from “MOMâ€, so he decided to start his own tradition. He bought five different types of Scratch n’ Win Lotto tickets for each of us and after all the other presents were opened we sat at the dinner table and used pennies to scratch away. We have continued this tradition throughout boyfriends and now husbands.
It is really wonderful to watch our faces after we have opened the gifts because we all know what is coming next! One year, during the last recession, we lost the two restaurants that my family owned. There were no presents under the tree that year, dinner was tapered down, and there were no Scratch n’ Wins to scratch. Going without the presents was easy, and eating a little less was fine. The one thing we all felt melancholy about was the fact that we could no longer do our special tradition after dinner. It’s silly, really. We never win much, maybe ten dollars, but it was the consistency we missed and the hollers of, “Whoo hoo, I won a dollar!†that we missed. Of course we had other traditions that we continued like playing board games until the wee hours of the night, but it just goes to show how special and cherished traditions are for people and children especially.
So, here are some gift ideas that you can use to begin a family tradition and add more warmth to your family’s Christmas experience.
- Books, novels
- Calendars
- Funny or colorful socks
- Crafty toys
- Scientific toys
- Bookmarks
- Slippers
- Christmas ornaments
- Wallets
- Something with the 1st letter of your child’s name (pens, pads of paper, notebooks, pencils, books, socks, picture frames, calendar, key chain, wallet) The ideas are endless and will always keep your child guessing!
Christmas is a magical time where family is the focus. Deepen the bonds you share with your children by adding a special tradition. I promise you that when your child remembers holidays past, in ten years time, it won’t be the toy they asked for that they will remember, it will be the one that their mom or dad always gave them.
Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life. You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at ErinParenting.com.
How To Have A Chilled Out Holiday Season
Feeling snowed under in the run up to the Christmas?As kids we look forward to this time of year. There’s the advent calendar, lights, tree, decorations, school vacations, stocking, a visit from Father Christmas and, of course, the long anticipated presents.But sadly, once you’ve grown up, with all the responsibilities and obligations being an adult entails, your Christmas spirit can get snuffed out. Even thinking about the planning, preparation and costs involved can fill you with dread.
How to Stop Yelling at Your Kids
I love a line I read in a book once. It went something like this: “If it isn’t life threatening, if the house is not ablaze, if it is not an emergency, or if the child you are yelling to is not half a mile away, then yelling is the wrong choice in parenting.”
Yelling negatively and directly affects the way children see themselves and how they feel about their life and their place in this world. Yelling is also bad for the parents’ self-esteem since it is usually a behaviour that one regrets or is ashamed of.
It is important to realize that when a parent yells they are not editing what they say the same way they would if they were speaking in a calmer moment of discussion or conversation.
The first step one must take to stop yelling is to understand what triggers the yelling. Yes, one’s child is probably doing something naughty, however, it is important to think about what makes one choose to yell instead of speaking matter-of-factly.
Ninety percent of the time, the reason people yell is that they were yelled at as children. Even though they may have hated being yelled at it is all they know and simply fall into that same pattern during times of stress with their own children.
The second step is to realize what response is most likely to occur after one finishes yelling. Because yelling makes a child feel badly about themselves they will often lash back in order to protect themselves, and then become revengeful. They may, out of fear and sadness, stop the behaviour for a short period of time, however the anger and humiliation they felt will build up and soon enough they will lash out. A good example here is when parents think yelling works when their children are small, but are shocked when they experience severe disobedience when their children get a little older.
So, if one knows that they are yelling simply because it is what they have learned and they understand that the result of yelling never achieves the desired result, what is the alternative? What is the solution?
Instead of yelling one must train oneself to take a deep breath and then state the behaviour they want from their child in a matter-of-fact, assertive tone of voice.
If one’s child is begging them to watch TV when it is homework time, one should simply say, “You need to stop whining and go do your homework.” If the begging continues say, “You can stop begging right now or you can go to time out. What is your choice?” If the child is used to yelling, they will probably continue, so the parent should take the child by the hand and walk him/her to a predetermined time out spot. The amount of time the child should spend there is one minute per year of age. After the time is up one should go back and state what they expect from their child again – to begin their homework.
With this these new tools, one should feel more confident that they have the knowledge now to change from what they have learned from their own parents to what they now know is the better, more effective way to handle discipline.
Erin Kurt, B.Ed, spent 16 years as a teacher and nanny around the world. Now, she applies her expertise as a parenting expert and author of Juggling Family Life. You can learn more about Erin and her simple, loving parenting method, and subscribe to her weekly parenting tips e-zine at ErinParenting.com.
Joel Schwartzberg: Top Ten Things Divorced Dads Need to Realize
It seems like a new celebrity father gets divorced every week. Recent divorced dads include Jon Gosselin, Robin Williams, Usher, Mel Gibson, Bradley Whitford, Edward…






