Welcome to the double deuce volume of The Most Important People on the Internet: Now with 10% more midget jokes! That being said, I’m pretty sure everyone gets it in the dick this week from lesbians to gamma-radiated African-Americans (above) to whatever the hell Amanda Seyfried counts as. I don’t recall Spielberg ever giving E.T.’s race a name.

Will I get ants if I tape Reese’s Pieces to my sex parts? No reason,